Bill Gates has demanded that all Covid-19 vaccines be withdrawn in an alternate universe

Bill Gates, the wealthy co-founder of Microsoft and a driving force behind the COVID-19 vaccines, made a stunning declaration, calling for the immediate withdrawal of all COVID-19 genetic-based vaccines.

“We made a catastrophic mistake,” Gates said in a 19-minute televised speech that was often agonizing. We sought to safeguard individuals from a potentially deadly infection. However, the infection turns out to be far less harmful than we originally feared. Furthermore, the vaccination is significantly more harmful than anyone anticipated.”

“These vaccines—Pfizer, Moderna, Johnson & Johnson, AstraZeneca—they’re murdering people left and right—and they’re harming some people very badly,” Gates said, occasionally raising his fists in the air for dramatic effect.

“The government’s own statistics indicate that this is the case. What is the CDC’s reporting system revealing? So far, there have been roughly 13,000 deaths in the United States, as well as over half a million adverse events. We all know that the reporting system is a ruse.

“We know that VAERS [the Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention] only covers about 1% of what’s going on. So we’re talking about over a million deaths and more than 60 million individuals suffering from negative side effects as a result of these Covid vaccines.”

“This isn’t what we were hoping for. Mr. Gates declared, “This is not acceptable.”

As Mr. Gates announced that he was joining Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s Children’s Health Defense organization’s urgent Citizen Petition calling on the US Food and Drug Administration to immediately withdraw all COVID vaccines from the market, Wall Street shares of all the major Covid vaccine companies plummeted by 20 percent to 30 percent.

“Too many individuals who receive these immunizations die,” Gates continued. After the shot, one, two, and five days pass. Others suffer from paralysis, blindness, convulsions, heart attacks, immune system collapse, blood clots, brain inflammation, lung or kidney damage, miscarriages, autoimmune illness, multiple organ system failures, chronic terrible exhaustion, and a slew of other dreadful conditions.

“Of course, our Media Mouthpieces—I’m referring to the mainstream news media—dismiss all of these catastrophes as “simply a coincidence.”

“They say that because of what I performed at Event 201, a Coronavirus Pandemic Simulation hosted in New York just a few weeks before the actual pandemic was announced,” Gates added. I was able to persuade all of the major newspapers, television networks, and radio stations to accept the Official Narrative—“vaccines are safe and effective”—and to censor anyone who questioned it.

“As a result, the public was never given the opportunity to hear the testimony of hundreds of eminent doctors and medical researchers who warned that vaccines are harmful and often lethal.”

“That was a major error on my part,” Gates insisted, his face tired and teary at times. “We should never have done that. People have the right to be well-informed, to obtain all relevant information in order to make an informed decision.”

“I’ve been going through a tough time and doing a lot of soul-searching since Melinda dumped me,” Mr. Gates admitted, changing the subject as though to seek sympathy. This divorce has forced me to examine myself more closely. I don’t want to be known as a villain who used lethal vaccines to kill millions of people. I’m not a monster, believe it or not. I am not a serial killer. I don’t want my family, friends, or coworkers to remember me as a mass murderer.

“Some have referred to me as a sociopath or even a psychopath as a result of my creative plans to aid humanity, such as lowering global warming by spraying dust into the upper atmosphere or releasing millions of genetically engineered insects to treat dengue and Zika virus.”

“Melinda was perplexed by my dreams. She didn’t get my association with Jeffrey Epstein… It was just a casual friendship with nothing to do with having sex with minors. I would never risk putting myself in a compromising situation if Jeff ran a blackmail ring for Mossad, Israel’s espionage agency.”

Bill Gates has demanded that all Covid-19 vaccines be withdrawn in an alternate universe

“But, getting back to these vaccines,” Mr. Gates moved gears as he regained his calm, “quite honestly, these items do not fulfill the legal or scientific definition of a vaccine.” They’re extremely experimental injections that tell a person’s body to make zillions of spike proteins according to on genetic instructions. The injected material spreads throughout your bloodstream, and your entire body begins to produce these dreaded spike proteins.

“Now, for over a year, the whistleblowers have been telling us that the spike protein is a pathogen—poisonous, it’s it causes blood clots, and it destroys many organs. They were perfectly correct, as it turns out. Other cutting-edge science in these vaccines, such as a magnetic element that converts humans into human transmitters/receivers, has also shown to be detrimental, but I am not at liberty to discuss these problems today, on the advice of legal counsel.”

“With these Covid vaccines, we believed we were doing some very exciting things—’actually hacking the software of life,’ as my dear buddy Tal Zaks, Moderna’s Chief Medical Officer, once claimed. However, we went too far. In a rare admission of failure, Gates admitted, “We blew it.”

“We basically duped people into taking these vaccines,” the Microsoft CEO admitted. They were unnecessary because the COVID-19 respiratory virus is less lethal than the seasonal flu, and 99.9% of people recover from infection with this virus on their own within a few days.

“I backed a German research team that persuaded the World Health Organization to accept the PCR diagnostic test as the ‘gold standard,’ despite the fact that any college student knows the PCR test can’t diagnose any disease. However, we increased the number of cycles in the test to 35 or 40 to ensure that 95 percent of the participants received false positives. I’m not sure why I did it. As he sipped a glass of water, Gates shrugged and said, “Mea culpa.”

“To summarize,” Mr. Gates added, throwing his hands in the air, “vaccines DO NOT provide immunity and DO NOT inhibit virus transmission.” They merely claim to alleviate moderate symptoms in infected persons, and despite the inflated numbers, they don’t do a good job of it. Thousands of people who get the shot eventually get COVID-19 infection. Furthermore, there are a number of low-cost, effective COVID-19 treatments that are extensively utilized around the world. Lockdowns and masks were unnecessary.”

Mr. Gates concluded, “The whole thing is a farce, and I’m very, very, very sorry,” as he bolted from the set without accepting any questions.

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation started shortly after his speech that it is establishing a special $50 billion fund in collaboration with vaccine manufacturers to pay fair and just compensation to Covid vaccination victims and their families. In addition, the Gates Foundation announced the creation of a second $50 billion fund to deliver free ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, budesonide, Vitamins D, C, and B, zinc, pine needle tea, N-acetyl cysteine, and other medicines to anyone who requests them.

Although hydroxychloroquine is known to be effective against COVID-19, there had to be no other effective treatments available for the FDA to award “Emergency Use Authorization” to the dangerous “vaccines” that had failed all previous clinical studies. As a result, fraudulent research papers were published in the respected Lancet and New England Journal of Medicine to discredit hydroxychloroquine. The fake vaccines were rolled out by President Donald Trump on an unsuspecting, ill-informed public after the articles, which used fabricated data, were later retracted, but by then they had served their purpose, and the fake vaccines had been rolled out by President Donald Trump on an unsuspecting, ill-informed public.

The Biden administration, which has been unrelenting in pushing for all Americans to undergo the risky injections, had no immediate reaction to Gates’ shocking speech. President Biden was said to be sleeping in the basement of his personal residence.

Note that the following satire is based on a fictitious lecture given by Bill Gates, and the Gates Foundation has not established any funds to recompense vaccine victims or make effective, low-cost COVID-19 cures available. The rest of the piece is based on facts — Gelles, William